"Nothing"

Coldness, so bitter the air is not there.
Finding time to breath, like razors it clings.
My priorities I recently found, then I take a look, at where I've been what I've gone through.
So rare but precise, yet also prolongs the agony within my mind, when I took things for granted... That's when it all happened?
My mind is spinning, I might be able to get out of this?
Madness doesn't consume me.
Rather the fear of nothing happening...

NOTHING AT ALL?

Plagues me right now...
Plagues me every day...

Things have changed and I'll be the first to admit.
Knowing the way I'am, I should just quit.
Here I'am trying to make it through,
I'm almost there, So I know I'll make due.

Short and sweet is the way I like it.
Just trying to make it through sometimes,
I kind of like that, this time?

Losing my mind,
I need to be alone.
But I need someone with me,
to bury my soul.

Why can't I find what I've been looking for.
A chance to feel alive.
Each day I await my mind not to twist,
But it's spinning out of control.

Stuck underneath, the blackened sun.
No one is left, I'm the only one?

I was conceived to believe, I may be done?
I'm not to leave, but I could be the only one left here?

The truth overbearing, the lies too easy to see there.

Is it obvious enough to me, I shouldn't be here.

Underneath this blackened sun, I'm stuck here.

People always worry and fret. Or do I forget?
They're wondering where they begin or end?
My end will be like anyone else's, and it might come to a halting stop.
Don't be worried, It could happen to anyone.
And that's the end...
I would like to believe, and or leave.

But Is there something else?

Maybe a time or place, an area that could be, to my self?

And possibly,

to everyone else?

One more sunset, One last time to forget.
The way things were yesterday, I don't need to think today.
They were on top of me, trying to figure out, what I know is only me.
One last night with the moonlight?
Now I have all the insight.
Realizing what is true, my love I feel, I might be due?
Last thing I want to do, is use you and make you feel undone.
You are the only one, therefore I don't care about the sun...

The night breeze puts me at ease.
So I lite a smoke and take a drink.
Doing all I can, just trying not to think.

I look up at the stars, although I feel I'm behind bars.
Why did I treat you that way?
You deserved less than what I gave.

Too late now to change it.
Moving on knowing, I can't face it.
But the memory stays.
I must have loved you,
in some way but I cannot place it...

It is late again, that's when I tend to worry
Yet I'll not go to sleep, or even try to think of it
Stay up till I can't keep my eyes open
Long periods time, trying to think of other thing's
Wishing tomorrow, I will feel the same way
But worrying about the things, I cannot seem to say
Dream of being somewhere else, I could be
A lot of people I did not miss
I need to leave
I feel like going
Somewhere I'm not sure
I'm so unsure of, what I'am not doing?

Going to the uncertain
life can be such a burden

joking with the door man that could kill me
but he wouldn't go out of his way
that's for certain.
Because he's been through more than I've seen maybe.
But that does not mean, he is mean maybe?
Good thing I'm young in the mind
confused on if I should make this up as a lime drink
and then as always I begin to think
think of ways to better myself
get away...
get away from myself???

These Feelings

the feeling of having no control in this life
searching hopelessly and finding yet another stair in my way
so I step down intimidated by what I do not know

people advising me on what I should do
they don't even know me but I wish they knew
in this life I'm not gaining
only falling further behind

leaning towards something different
i try hiding in my mind
at least no one can get me there
my enemy while being my best friend

sometimes the pain is so unbearable
and the good times seem like they won't end
but like both of them
they stop abruptly without warning they always quit

glad it went away or wishing they would stay

so in this life so confusing and so true

without the feeling of both hardship and greatness
I would not be where I'am today, so easily construed.

#1)Saddness falls on the girl.
As another guy might break her heart.
She assumes all he want's is physical ?
He begins to think, maybe this time I won't leave her?
But she won't have any of it.
So she's back where she began!
Now, it might never end?...
All alone,
though she could have let it go?
Now she realizes, she kind of knows?


#2)Smell of fresh cut green grass, but as we walk you have nothing to ask
So I'm watching people in their daily routine
Collecting the sun, the wind it may be done
Looking at you, my eyes end up squinting
Your eye's on me, you seem content. On doing nothing

(I hope I don't repeat myself too much?)

Will you still be there with your gentle stare
With your pleasing eyes please don't ever say goodbye
You never running out of things to say
Hope it doesn't change in anyway
But I know it will
I know At least you'll be fulfilled
After I'm home from work and the day was hard
Coming home to you I'll never be scarred

Flower petals wilting, a lot like my love for you
I don't feel guilty, actually I'm glad were through
For the first time I didn't start it, or even end it
I know for a fact, it wasn't my fault. Too bad I was just one of your statistic's
I continue on living, wondering where love might be next
How did I get this far, love is so complex

Watching the rain fall, While trying to forget what I've lost
A lot of thing's I can't afford, the cost is simply too much
There are plenty of things I've gained
Mostly things I could not obtain
So I sit here with nothing else to lose
No one in front of me, no one left behind to choose

I don't necesarialy feel right
therefore, I'm not going out tonight
the decisions I make, or the way I 'am
It isn't really hard, to understand
I do, what I do
because I'm the one who wants to.

enough time goes bye
the less I dare.
I cannot compare the times
I tried to live there?
If this makes any sense
I know I've learned to make friends
but i try to make sense,
of it all
because it always changes
no matter what you think
there's a way around
there's time to make amends
If there wasn't time I might have sinked

Radiant as you are.
This probably, is a mistake?
To tell you how I feel.
I wonder? Could this be fate?

But your long hair I would definitely keep!
I wouldn't change a thing.

Or would I?

Joining hand in hand,
I'm remembering how to love again.

Unlike riding a bike?
It's easier said,
than done again?

But I'm glad you accept me.
Although it's kind of weird?

My feelings will cease though...
When you say to me, that you want me.

And to be where, no one else has been?

That's where we will start, where you'll actually begin?

Then I can call it a day, we will never be apart again.

standing in the pouring rain
trying to forget your name
I shouldn't be this upset
I know your not
I would probably bet
getting anxious
anyone could tell
I'm not standing any longer
instead I fell
deep inside your eyes
even with all your goodbyes
I would take you back
because your the only thing I lack

This one took
5 minutes
Others take a little more time...

Misunderstood, I thought you might be that way.

That was the reason though, I wanted to stay?
Going around you,
it's like I'm paralyzed.
But then again, now I realize you always are able to point that out.
I just wanted to help you. There is no question about hope.

Why would you do something in that way?

Can't you just let me have my pride, and leave me with nothing to say?
It's a great way in my mind to hide.
Without you criticizing me, for the thing's I do or even say.

I'm not letting go, though I understood at one time.

The only thing I can say is good luck in what you may do?

Your not lucky in any way.

Heightened feelings, I cannot relax.
Thing's are going so well, I should be laxed.
Not speaking of anyone, or anything.
Not necessarily true, though it may be?
I feel like I'm
Twisting and turning, I can hear my stomach churning.
Watching and learning, I know I'll be returning.

So until later, I'll be the negotiator.
Time is losing me here. But, I'm still able to waver.
Here and there, I like to savor?



(NOT FINISHED...
Looking my poems over?
They could be considered lyrics?
A lot to be corrected including the 1 above?
All in good time though.
All these words are flowing like water out of my brain...
Weird but cool?
Kind of personal but I figure who cares?
I want people to see it.
Great release for me actually!
So if your interested than I hope you enjoy...)

All I can do is rhyme even when I try not to?

I lay here with my arms around you, and in between your breast.
Your hands clench tightly upon mine, as reassuring feelings arise.

Trusting me, while I too trust in you.
Being with you, I will never regret what I do.

Because you know in your heart,I will not pretend.
The way I love you, I will never forget.

Time slips by,I'm still behind you listening. Watching you while you sleep, you seem to glisten.
But every time I move, you pull me right back in.

So awkward for me, but that's the way love tends to feel.
Just being with you is worth it, as my heart begins to heal.

Sitting here waiting for you, for lack of something better to do?
If you would only let me choose, I feel like I've got so much to lose.

Trying to be good on your behalf, can't stop thinking about the way you laugh.
Loving you already, always knowing you must be ready.

To call out and make me yours, I wish you had the nerve.
But all you have to do is make yourself heard.
Don't make it a burden, I just hope I can get a word in?

I'll keep waiting till your ready, ready for certain...

Illuminating light all around, in a place no one can be found
Is this maybe a dream, or I guess that's the way it would seem
Otherwise I don't think I'd be, having the feeling of so much ease
Music starts playing from out of no where
But from where I stand, I could not part
Just wondering where should I start
Give me some time to take this all in, I'm not sure where to begin

Through fields of green
It was the most beautiful thing
The only time I'm at peace
Is When I'm all alone
In a place where I can think
A place I would like to call home

But after a while I feel a bit lonely

Only to remember you
Uplifting in some ways
I do remember then
You knew what to say
So I'd finally come down to listen
Only now to find what I'm missing

Trying not to think.
But I'm trying not to worry.
I only wish, I wasn't in,
so much of a hurry?
Stupid things keep eluding me.
Keeps me from, what I'm meant to be doing.
But I still don't do a thing?
Yet, I still continue to worry?
Never taking care of things,
especially the ones, that mean so much to me?
I wonder if you really care?
Do you even barely think it?
If or when, I'm lonely here.
I would like to be perfect, or at least
I'd like to be close to it.
So I'm trying not to think again?
But apparently,
it's not working.

Okay with the fact that death occurs?
Until he sees his wife, his mind turns.
He realizes he won't see her again.

When they finally lower her in.

Only then does it sink into his mind...

Trying to hold back the tears.
But instead they come, from all the bountiful years.

He thinks then, he shouldn't of held back.
Why did he hold it all, behind of all his fears.

Instead now he thinks, he should have listened to her.

But only now, after all these years.

The Graveyard

Lost in a world where thing's just don't seem right
Does anyone else notice
Anyone else, besides only myself
Corruption and greed, is it ever enough
Poverty and hunger, there's simply too much
Scavengers and thieves, want to pay their dues
Drug addicts and prostitutes, trying to get their fix or simply trying to make it through
Power trippers and racists, who can't change their ways
These are the things I feel, at the end of each day

Sun rays hit my face as I look up in to the sun
Right then I feel like, I must be the only one
Thinking of you and all the joy you bring
When I see your beautiful face I just want to sing
I really don't care about all that bling
You might as well take it all off
For to me, it don't mean a thing
Lips red like roses, your smile so perfect
Your body's got so many curves
I think I could lose my nerves
I'm waiting for you to tell me you love me
But you must be waiting for the same thing

I'm at that point in my life again
Where I don't care where I've been
Don't want to try, I could care less
Things never go my way, my life's a mess
And what do you care you seem contempt
You could never understand my pain
In fact you could care less
So take your good attitude
Take it somewhere else
I need to get through this right now, all by myself
Thanks for trying but you are no help
cause this is the way I feel right now
The only person who can change that is myself.

Moonlight casts shadows on me.

And yet you are so bright?

Standing there motionless, in the moonlight.

Angels sing to you when you are there.
Flying around you with gentle care.

All the while staring blankly at me, almost as if you want to thank me?
Thank me for all my kindness and patience. Not knowing that without you, I could not fake this.

For all your love and power.
You have no idea, how you could devour?
You could get rid of my lust, my need to thrive.
Without you my heart, would not survive.

Wasting my day, wasting away.

It seems I'm not coming back, not coming this way.

Wandering these streets, till I'm hurting my feet.

I realize I need to be around, that's when I begin to come down.

For In my life it's too late, I must steer towards my fate.

I came up with this earlier?
It's a start...
It seems kind of long. #1)?

#1)Breaking me in two, every time you cried.
I feel so hopeless, all the times you lied.

Storms a brewing, deep inside my mind.
Painting a picture, of where I might find the time?

Trying to come up with some sort of equation.

If, just once to get over... My frustration.
There's still no other, no other substitutions.
Not ever will I come up, with a better kind of solution.
So
I wonder are you sailing?
Wherever you might be mailing?

And where else would you rather be?

But farther away from me.

And Further away from my heart.

I've realized you've torn me.
You've torn my heart apart!

Now I've finally found it.
And this won't happen to me again?

So I'm going to latch my heart, and I'm keeping it locked.

Now My heart's been tied. I've knotted it up.

I think I have loss?

But I've certainly loss, quite enough...



#2)Going crazy, need to leave this place.
I'm pathetically waiting. Cannot leave this space.

Always anticipating?
Where I'am, or where I'm at?

Been running around drinking, but what 'am I thinking?
I'm only making it worse!
I assume it's maybe my curse.

So where 'am I going?

Going crazy I think.

My thought's are sinking,

I really couldn't tell you, what 'am I thinking?