Pauly's Poems

Travel

2011-12-17T23:56:00.000-08:00

Your back is away from the floor boards
My feet are as high as they can possibly be
Hoping for somewhere to go from here
Maybe we will wake up and see

Taking us pass the horizon
Beyond the grass littered fields
I'm taking you on my path
Where you willingly agree to be there forever

Standing in the light dividing the source of it
Changing the darkness for the better
Retaining the light all along
With no knowledge of how this is
Where we might land is for the best

2011-10-11T00:35:00.000-07:00

the light along the hall gave off a shadow that reminded me of things I shouldn't forget and things that I will always want to remember and think about to carry on as if nothing has happened

the pain is real

2011-06-15T01:17:00.000-07:00

flourishing in my failures, scraping along on my knees. a regrettable burning sensation when I think of what I've achieved. i just want to hang my head. hide myself in the lowest depths this earth has to offer. or even possibly the furthest reaches in space. go where no one can see me, or know about what I have or have not done. make me forget, help me to erase these memories. wipe my slate clean because the pain is too real. i just want this to end. locked and alone I have no family nor friend. so tired, so weak and pathetic. in my surroundings i'm out of luck. things are not going to change, so i'll just give up.

Fugitive

2010-01-06T00:59:00.000-08:00

Barely slipped by but, I'm still considered a fugitive in their minds
Living on, as things fall apart around me
Yet stopping this from happening can feel like a burden
A weight entirely upon me
To stop it, I may need to turn myself in
Or I could keep running
Like a coward or a man who knows he doesn't deserve it
The kindness and appreciation from others, I certainly need that
Although it does not change the outcome
It changes the long run of my journey, my own way to get there
Facing the facts
I'm guilty before proven innocent...

Feelings

2009-10-15T03:07:00.000-07:00

feeling bad whether or not it works out for some
just whether it works out for me i'm worried about
so many people say this or that
i want to feel bad but i cannot
do people deserve what they get
forget them, there too far
gone?
Or not...
continue to be wondering or the feeling i miss being un assured...
for another day i will figure this out
figure out precisely, all about my heart

The Way It Should Not Be?

2009-09-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

We worship money more than we do each other. We value possessions over love. Decided on looks rather than personality. Concluding our thoughts without knowing for sure. Condemning before knowing the facts. Paranoid and worried over things we cannot control, snobbish acts only caring about ourselves. Imagination lost, along with my sense of humor. Looking past their noses. This shoe will not be on the others foot.
Holidays become excuses and have no meaning anymore.
We can't even die for free?
No purity or willingness to reach out with a helping hand.
The only hope is to pray it doesn't happen to them...
Wars for no reason or there for rhyme.
I've Lost All Faith In Mankind!!!
No more religion, no more pills, no more vaccines or shots.
Need for insurance goes away. No tax nor quota.
Go to bed early at night, don't forget to wake up early?
Look at the stars and play in the fields.
No more words that cannot be said.
Smoke or drink whatever you please.
Watch and listen to whatever you want.
Do as I say not as I do has a whole new meaning now.
I've been screwed over and over until I cannot feel no more.
It must be too late, these wounds, they will not heal.
Condemned to follow these rules and obligations only to die someday.
Alone from my minds tortuous starvation.

Poor

2009-09-17T04:14:00.000-07:00

I wish I could write you everyday
But I'm afraid you might expect it
What you may think about me worries me though
As well as what you might say about me, from day to day
All I want is your love
I just want your approval
I want things to be perfect

Wish things were different
I would see you all the time
Without you I'm worthless
I'm guilty and a disgrace
Because I have no money to show

With not a dime to spare
I'm still missing you
Wish I could be there
But with me that is unusual
For me to feel that way is quite rare

30 years old today

2009-04-24T01:41:00.000-07:00

30 years old today
I don't feel too bold this way
While I'm trying to reconnect
my mind has been so far swept
A lot like my intelect,to remember I would miss
but now, what do I know
I'm still only 30 years old
people may clear the way this time
noticing the change in me
everyone surrounding noticies
the difference about me magnifys their view
Now they know what I'm going to do

You

2009-03-17T01:55:00.000-07:00

I love her and there is not a doubt in my mind
For most people I guess, love is hard to find
Growing in my heart, I tend to love you more
Missing your stance, your grace
especially your elegant embrace
It's too hard to figure out
Too hard by far

Is it love?

2009-03-17T01:36:00.000-07:00

I could never leave you and I still can't understand why
I should have left you there, without saying goodbye
Strange things that have happened
You would not comprehend
It still isn't over, I just wish you could understand

With You, So True To Me...

2009-03-17T01:00:00.001-07:00

I want to be with you and everything I said was true
They would like to say we were too young
Too young to know the difference between the two
We of course both felt misunderstood, by the indifference they assumed of us
Going away though, never felt that wrong before thinking I knew
I wanted you back, wanting to forget the past

But by never seeing you again, it could be the worst thing that happened
Worried about where your at sometimes
I miss those blue eyes always happy to see me
and you were always so true to me...

Lie Here

2009-02-25T22:21:00.000-08:00

I've been surprised before but nothing like this.
Previous engagements turn up and my heart sinks.
I would like to act as if nothing has happened.
Sooner than later, I must confront whats in front of me.
Why I feel this way, is beyond what I think.
What do I want? What do I miss?
Today changes, along with my life.
The sharpest knife cut straight through my mind.
I lie here bleeding, with no one to care or to explain why?

Why? I may not ever know...

2009-02-21T14:54:00.000-08:00

I'm here now but for how long? I'll never know, till it's all gone. What I see or I might wish. This may never be what I really want. What I'm here for, I might not ever know...

The Time May Be Different, Just Not This Time

2009-02-20T11:03:00.000-08:00

I cannot be what you want me to be
Back then I was a child
Now I've seen and tried different things
I've turned out a bit mild
I wish I could remind you, of how I once was
But those times have passed through
Changing the way you may perceive me may be difficult
But I'll always continue in my own way
I will try to persuade you, every single day

Stagnant

2009-01-11T10:52:00.000-08:00

What happened to me was extra ordinary? Accompanied by expectations and worry.
Nothing I'm not used to.
but nothing unusual about the request either.
How do I begin? Should I even start and open a continuous strain of pain and suffering?
I'm not sure I'm ready for such a commitment.
Here I go again knowing what is wrong and what is right
missing what used to be, someday I will see.
stagnant again I become...

Cautious

2008-12-14T01:40:00.000-08:00

I've noticed before...
but I guess usually I don't care, you said I was the only one who ever noticed.
How you tend to hide yourself, behind your beautiful hair.
Then I realized, I knew you were different?
No one to compare, not a soul could be like you!
Your the one, even though I don't deserve it.
My soul continues on a different path than yours
On my own I will get this back
By myself I will finally get what I need
My lack of substance, I stand but want to sit
Cautiously, I take on the road to my death, weary of my life and uncertain
of my destiny.

Justrying

2008-12-05T01:22:00.000-08:00

So cold towards others.
Then wonder why I'm so alone?
Justrying to get along,
without much success.
Bitterness can equal loneliness.
Although I cannot stop, money seems to rule
I try to forget ,or even retreat.
Undoubtedly, money rises again, just above.
Although it will not end, and I will never suffice.
In my mind I'll try to stay. Unknowing,disbelieving,
absent minded and eluded in basic denial.

2008-11-18T17:29:00.000-08:00

Looking down at you, past the brim of my hat
shadowing myself, hiding who I really am
embarrassed by who I've become
and who you might think this time
I should have became
So I walk away as if I don't care
But I know it's not true
I try not to care
I finally realize one thing...
I can't hide my shame behind a hat
I feel less of a person for doing just that

And still I hide my myself
letting very little out

Some People

2008-11-18T13:55:00.000-08:00

People live amongst us without a heart.
They have no compassion, they don't care for no one else.
As you starve they eat in front of you.
As you thirst they drink without a second thought.
Every dollar every penny, if borrowed you always owe.
For they will never, ever let it go.
As they hold it proudly over your head.
Laughing hysterically at your loss.
Thinking of themselves and not a person else.
They will die alone with their riches and wealth.

Love Again

2008-11-12T07:33:00.000-08:00

Even when your near me
I still long for your presence
In the slightest breeze
I want to smell your essence
I don't need to say please
because you always know whats best for me
I can still feel your touch
even though it's sometimes too much
Love has done it again
the feelings are all on the inside
Trapped deep within me
just waiting for me to release them

Tuesday afternoon

2008-10-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

I don't want to live anymore
I would rather just lie here
half on and half off my bed
No willingness to strive
It seems there is no one there to help
Don't feel like moving
I don't feel much...
But then I got up
my blood started pumping
rage filling me inside
I'm about to erupt
I feel like imploding!

But I realize there is still nothing I can do.
Except give in...

or give up.

This happens too often?

2008-10-17T00:10:00.000-07:00

Backing out,lies,talk,manufactured.

Done deal,believe what you hear is true.
Don't tell me if it's not real,
significant lives are always lost.
No problem to us,don't care if you live or die.
Little masses of nothing,compared to my large mass of consumption.
They feed upon the poor of me,
then they try to lie next to me.
When to rise amongst the rich we are against.
We fail within the others ,only then to obey again. As we tried so hard not to suffer. Try so hard, not to suffer within...

2008-09-21T02:37:00.000-07:00

Have you ever witnessed something this intense?
The government manipulates us, and we have no defense.
Someday we will defend our original right's.
Get back what is ours and set thing's straight.
Things will be the way they should have been all along.
Not like the way they tell us now, it could actually be good?

Happiness

2008-09-19T04:02:00.003-07:00

The universe is so vast,
so huge and infinite.
So why do I feel so alone,
even when your near?
Believe me I would try to convince you.
Do everything I could, just to end it.
Instead I lie here in bed.
What might be worse, is I'm used to it?
With these dead feelings I continue to write,
in hopes of possibly shaking it.
But if its not going to happen soon...
Happiness?
I'll just fake it.

Left here, to feel.

2008-09-19T04:02:00.002-07:00

Eyes are burning, it's mid afternoon.
I'm so tired and lonely.
My mind tries to keep up, by racing.
I'm not sure where to look,
or even where to start?
Staring into a corner,
the only thing left thats real.
It hasn't changed.
Yet I continue to breath.
I continue to feel.
I was a part of something?
I'll never heal...

How are you?

2008-09-19T04:02:00.001-07:00

Sensitive to the touch,
acquiring acute smells.
Seeing the horizon,
smelling the morning air.

People are so elusive.
Everyone is scared.

Too much or lack there of

2008-09-19T04:02:00.000-07:00

Breaks from a reality,
massive amounts of nothing!
Soaking up days and lives, or lack there of.
There must be something more for them and me?
Yet nothing ever does, and nothing probably won't.
Be within me, or I'll be without.

2008-09-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

I deserve so much
But receive very little
No respect or thanks
For the hard work when I've slaved
No pat ya on the back
Or even shake my hand
Just a lonely hard worker
Not much in demand

Not very clear

2008-09-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

Kind of exciting the feeling I get
Not ever knowing where I'll end up
Taking chances unexpectedly
Never knowing where I'm going to be
Too many options
They're all not very clear
Where 'am I going to end up
I'll never see or hear
Figuring it out your supposed to feel some what achieved
But that really doesn't happen with me

2008-08-13T00:21:00.000-07:00

Look at what I have started, yet I cannot finish.

The feeling of longing, I cannot diminish.

What is wrong with me, I cannot explain?

That feeling inside me is gone and washed away.

Never mind that, I forget what I have to be.

Continue to be nothing, dwelling deep inside of me.

Better Off Without

2008-07-10T18:19:00.000-07:00

you couldn't paint a better picture
to show me how you feel
by the look on your face
I can tell exactly what you are thinking
wanting to help me
wishing to be near me
but you should stay away from here
you don't know what your getting into
so I act the fool, yet you continue
you should get out
get away while you still can
your too good for this
actually I know, we both couldn't withstand the end

2008-06-22T15:19:00.000-07:00

I've let myself go
I'm losing control
but nobody knows
and that's what I chose
I'm inside out
I'm all about
Don't have a mind
I'm so confined
I've already lost it
with one small thread of hope
just imagining what it could of been like
but knowing it's too late

2008-06-04T17:14:00.000-07:00

Never any privacy, but I'm really all alone.
Going through the same routines, I pray for something new.
No one I want notices me, and the ones I don't always do.
Someday I know things will change, maybe even change my point of view.

2008-05-25T22:45:00.001-07:00

Awake again, for there is no sleep
Some people think it's more time for me
But the things I need, don't necessarily get done
the burden of trying to sleep, is burden enough for some
I'd rather be sleeping and not just act like a puppet that's stuffed
the thing that troubles me most, is the Insomnia doubles enough?
I cannot even touch it... Why is it too far to reach?
But that's the way it is for for me, if you want to decipher
things do not differ
I continue to try
But only, to suffer...

2008-05-23T23:37:00.000-07:00

if you could stay away
but be there as well
i wouldn't tell anyone
i might let you stay
if only the promises were kept
turning I may accept
getting away from this
as i want to so much
i let it go a little
therefore you can't really want me
you don't actually need me
i'm only a crutch

2008-05-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

I'm so pathetic
I guess I'm destine to lose
I really can't wait till my next upset
It's depressing how I falter
Again, things don't go my way
They could easily crumble and blow away

So I'm glad to meet you
Your fresh and your new to me
Opinions and views, are a good sign in my mind

But I'm striking out again
In this life, I cannot win sometimes
kicked around and beaten down
That's the way it will always be

2008-05-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

I could tell it was too late
In the past I might have been able to do something
But for her it was gone, another thing gone to waste
Another soul corrupted by me
I could see it in her eyes and I could feel it in my heart
She was so wrapped up in nothing
She'd forgotten what it was like sometimes
To actually believe in something, or what we call Life should probably deserve something
Who she used to be, fell apart right in front of their eyes.
As her reasoning went, and possibly never to come back again
I miss that person
I miss her so much
I feel like I've died
Isn't it enough

2008-05-01T23:33:00.000-07:00

When all is lost and no one is there
disappointment reigns, I start to look at my self
Because there I am and I'm the only one to look at
I wish people understood or would at least try to relate
But they don't even try, though they should at least attempt

2008-04-27T13:10:00.000-07:00

My Existence

Why am I born on this earth, only to spend the entire duration of it, utterly alone?
Why am I the one to get teased or ridiculed? Why am I the one who ends up on my own?
There is no one there to help, there is no one there to guide me.
Down this battered path, that lies beaten, it just lies there, right before me.
But there is no other choice. There is no other path to choose?
Just the path before me and it's littered with decisions and settling dust,
and it continues to do it's work. Only to indefinitely consume me...

2008-03-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

Thoughts are measured by my mistakes
No courage while facing the intimidating past
Reminded of the things I've said,
or the way I could of done things

The days continue although it does not show (on my exterior)

What am I going to do, where am I going to go

(I feel inferior)

2008-03-20T03:50:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep and that is nothing new.
Still worrying and waiting, for nothing to do.
Why I do not hate and why I do not judge.
Is my way of preparing, for what is not been done.
Seeing and hearing is not quite enough.
People may learn it, especially when times are rough.
The only way to advance and to be a special person though?
Is to live and listen, then learn from mistakes that have been made.

2008-03-15T00:51:00.000-07:00

The winds have ceased,
so the time is lost.
Life turns out to be driven through.
But not always, without a cost.
Forgotten after your death,
you wish your time was more stable.
Unless living through the strife,
makes you feel more able?
But not me,
I tend to be more worried.

The time has gone, so where does that leave me really?
Alone, unwanted and feeling no release.
That's where I'll stay. But then, I'll drift right past you.
In one piece.

"About my decisions on poems that have let me down, and why I continue to write them?"

(BORING)
I wish I had more upbeat poems for ya???
But I'm better at explaining depressing stuff, rather than the happier things in life.
Poetry to me, has usually been there when I'm a little depressed.
I like it when I can say, or feel like I have felt the same way as a certain person, especially someone who I have never met before. It is a tremendous feeling, the connection there?
It makes me realize that some of us do feel the same about issues? Mostly it reassures me that there are others just like me?
Maybe I'll come up with some poems that are more uplifting?
(BORING)

2007-12-30T20:18:00.000-08:00

"Nothing"

Coldness, so bitter the air is not there.
Finding time to breath, like razors it clings.
My priorities I recently found, then I take a look, at where I've been what I've gone through.
So rare but precise, yet also prolongs the agony within my mind, when I took things for granted... That's when it all happened?
My mind is spinning, I might be able to get out of this?
Madness doesn't consume me.
Rather the fear of nothing happening...

NOTHING AT ALL?

Plagues me right now...
Plagues me every day...

2007-12-07T00:28:00.000-08:00

Things have changed and I'll be the first to admit.
Knowing the way I'am, I should just quit.
Here I'am trying to make it through,
I'm almost there, So I know I'll make due.

Short and sweet is the way I like it.
Just trying to make it through sometimes,
I kind of like that, this time?

2007-10-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

Losing my mind,
I need to be alone.
But I need someone with me,
to bury my soul.

Why can't I find what I've been looking for.
A chance to feel alive.
Each day I await my mind not to twist,
But it's spinning out of control.

2007-09-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

Stuck underneath, the blackened sun.
No one is left, I'm the only one?

I was conceived to believe, I may be done?
I'm not to leave, but I could be the only one left here?

The truth overbearing, the lies too easy to see there.

Is it obvious enough to me, I shouldn't be here.

Underneath this blackened sun, I'm stuck here.

2007-09-11T21:25:00.000-07:00

People always worry and fret. Or do I forget?
They're wondering where they begin or end?
My end will be like anyone else's, and it might come to a halting stop.
Don't be worried, It could happen to anyone.
And that's the end...
I would like to believe, and or leave.

But Is there something else?

Maybe a time or place, an area that could be, to my self?

And possibly,

to everyone else?

2007-09-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

One more sunset, One last time to forget.
The way things were yesterday, I don't need to think today.
They were on top of me, trying to figure out, what I know is only me.
One last night with the moonlight?
Now I have all the insight.
Realizing what is true, my love I feel, I might be due?
Last thing I want to do, is use you and make you feel undone.
You are the only one, therefore I don't care about the sun...

2007-06-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

The night breeze puts me at ease.
So I lite a smoke and take a drink.
Doing all I can, just trying not to think.

I look up at the stars, although I feel I'm behind bars.
Why did I treat you that way?
You deserved less than what I gave.

Too late now to change it.
Moving on knowing, I can't face it.
But the memory stays.
I must have loved you,
in some way but I cannot place it...

2007-06-06T20:36:00.000-07:00

It is late again, that's when I tend to worry
Yet I'll not go to sleep, or even try to think of it
Stay up till I can't keep my eyes open
Long periods time, trying to think of other thing's
Wishing tomorrow, I will feel the same way
But worrying about the things, I cannot seem to say
Dream of being somewhere else, I could be
A lot of people I did not miss
I need to leave
I feel like going
Somewhere I'm not sure
I'm so unsure of, what I'am not doing?

2007-05-21T21:47:00.000-07:00

Going to the uncertain
life can be such a burden

joking with the door man that could kill me
but he wouldn't go out of his way
that's for certain.
Because he's been through more than I've seen maybe.
But that does not mean, he is mean maybe?
Good thing I'm young in the mind
confused on if I should make this up as a lime drink
and then as always I begin to think
think of ways to better myself
get away...
get away from myself???

These Feelings

2007-05-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

the feeling of having no control in this life
searching hopelessly and finding yet another stair in my way
so I step down intimidated by what I do not know

people advising me on what I should do
they don't even know me but I wish they knew
in this life I'm not gaining
only falling further behind

leaning towards something different
i try hiding in my mind
at least no one can get me there
my enemy while being my best friend

sometimes the pain is so unbearable
and the good times seem like they won't end
but like both of them
they stop abruptly without warning they always quit

glad it went away or wishing they would stay

so in this life so confusing and so true

without the feeling of both hardship and greatness
I would not be where I'am today, so easily construed.

2007-05-08T20:54:00.000-07:00

#1)Saddness falls on the girl.
As another guy might break her heart.
She assumes all he want's is physical ?
He begins to think, maybe this time I won't leave her?
But she won't have any of it.
So she's back where she began!
Now, it might never end?...
All alone,
though she could have let it go?
Now she realizes, she kind of knows?

#2)Smell of fresh cut green grass, but as we walk you have nothing to ask
So I'm watching people in their daily routine
Collecting the sun, the wind it may be done
Looking at you, my eyes end up squinting
Your eye's on me, you seem content. On doing nothing

2007-05-04T17:05:00.000-07:00

(I hope I don't repeat myself too much?)

Will you still be there with your gentle stare
With your pleasing eyes please don't ever say goodbye
You never running out of things to say
Hope it doesn't change in anyway
But I know it will
I know At least you'll be fulfilled
After I'm home from work and the day was hard
Coming home to you I'll never be scarred

2007-04-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

Flower petals wilting, a lot like my love for you
I don't feel guilty, actually I'm glad were through
For the first time I didn't start it, or even end it
I know for a fact, it wasn't my fault. Too bad I was just one of your statistic's
I continue on living, wondering where love might be next
How did I get this far, love is so complex

2007-04-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

Watching the rain fall, While trying to forget what I've lost
A lot of thing's I can't afford, the cost is simply too much
There are plenty of things I've gained
Mostly things I could not obtain
So I sit here with nothing else to lose
No one in front of me, no one left behind to choose

2007-04-24T19:40:00.000-07:00

I don't necesarialy feel right
therefore, I'm not going out tonight
the decisions I make, or the way I 'am
It isn't really hard, to understand
I do, what I do
because I'm the one who wants to.

enough time goes bye
the less I dare.
I cannot compare the times
I tried to live there?
If this makes any sense
I know I've learned to make friends
but i try to make sense,
of it all
because it always changes
no matter what you think
there's a way around
there's time to make amends
If there wasn't time I might have sinked

2007-04-19T18:34:00.000-07:00

Radiant as you are.
This probably, is a mistake?
To tell you how I feel.
I wonder? Could this be fate?

But your long hair I would definitely keep!
I wouldn't change a thing.

Or would I?

Joining hand in hand,
I'm remembering how to love again.

Unlike riding a bike?
It's easier said,
than done again?

But I'm glad you accept me.
Although it's kind of weird?

My feelings will cease though...
When you say to me, that you want me.

And to be where, no one else has been?

That's where we will start, where you'll actually begin?

Then I can call it a day, we will never be apart again.

2007-04-17T17:07:00.000-07:00

standing in the pouring rain
trying to forget your name
I shouldn't be this upset
I know your not
I would probably bet
getting anxious
anyone could tell
I'm not standing any longer
instead I fell
deep inside your eyes
even with all your goodbyes
I would take you back
because your the only thing I lack

This one took
5 minutes
Others take a little more time...

2007-04-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

Misunderstood, I thought you might be that way.

That was the reason though, I wanted to stay?
Going around you,
it's like I'm paralyzed.
But then again, now I realize you always are able to point that out.
I just wanted to help you. There is no question about hope.

Why would you do something in that way?

Can't you just let me have my pride, and leave me with nothing to say?
It's a great way in my mind to hide.
Without you criticizing me, for the thing's I do or even say.

I'm not letting go, though I understood at one time.

The only thing I can say is good luck in what you may do?

Your not lucky in any way.

2007-04-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

Heightened feelings, I cannot relax.
Thing's are going so well, I should be laxed.
Not speaking of anyone, or anything.
Not necessarily true, though it may be?
I feel like I'm
Twisting and turning, I can hear my stomach churning.
Watching and learning, I know I'll be returning.

So until later, I'll be the negotiator.
Time is losing me here. But, I'm still able to waver.
Here and there, I like to savor?

(NOT FINISHED...
Looking my poems over?
They could be considered lyrics?
A lot to be corrected including the 1 above?
All in good time though.
All these words are flowing like water out of my brain...
Weird but cool?
Kind of personal but I figure who cares?
I want people to see it.
Great release for me actually!
So if your interested than I hope you enjoy...)

All I can do is rhyme even when I try not to?

2007-04-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

I lay here with my arms around you, and in between your breast.
Your hands clench tightly upon mine, as reassuring feelings arise.

Trusting me, while I too trust in you.
Being with you, I will never regret what I do.

Because you know in your heart,I will not pretend.
The way I love you, I will never forget.

Time slips by,I'm still behind you listening. Watching you while you sleep, you seem to glisten.
But every time I move, you pull me right back in.

So awkward for me, but that's the way love tends to feel.
Just being with you is worth it, as my heart begins to heal.

2007-04-08T00:59:00.000-07:00

Sitting here waiting for you, for lack of something better to do?
If you would only let me choose, I feel like I've got so much to lose.

Trying to be good on your behalf, can't stop thinking about the way you laugh.
Loving you already, always knowing you must be ready.

To call out and make me yours, I wish you had the nerve.
But all you have to do is make yourself heard.
Don't make it a burden, I just hope I can get a word in?

I'll keep waiting till your ready, ready for certain...

2007-04-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

Illuminating light all around, in a place no one can be found
Is this maybe a dream, or I guess that's the way it would seem
Otherwise I don't think I'd be, having the feeling of so much ease
Music starts playing from out of no where
But from where I stand, I could not part
Just wondering where should I start
Give me some time to take this all in, I'm not sure where to begin

2007-03-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

Through fields of green
It was the most beautiful thing
The only time I'm at peace
Is When I'm all alone
In a place where I can think
A place I would like to call home

But after a while I feel a bit lonely

Only to remember you
Uplifting in some ways
I do remember then
You knew what to say
So I'd finally come down to listen
Only now to find what I'm missing

2007-03-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

Trying not to think.
But I'm trying not to worry.
I only wish, I wasn't in,
so much of a hurry?
Stupid things keep eluding me.
Keeps me from, what I'm meant to be doing.
But I still don't do a thing?
Yet, I still continue to worry?
Never taking care of things,
especially the ones, that mean so much to me?
I wonder if you really care?
Do you even barely think it?
If or when, I'm lonely here.
I would like to be perfect, or at least
I'd like to be close to it.
So I'm trying not to think again?
But apparently,
it's not working.

2007-03-25T17:45:00.000-07:00

Okay with the fact that death occurs?
Until he sees his wife, his mind turns.
He realizes he won't see her again.

When they finally lower her in.

Only then does it sink into his mind...

Trying to hold back the tears.
But instead they come, from all the bountiful years.

He thinks then, he shouldn't of held back.
Why did he hold it all, behind of all his fears.

Instead now he thinks, he should have listened to her.

But only now, after all these years.

The Graveyard

2007-03-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

Lost in a world where thing's just don't seem right
Does anyone else notice
Anyone else, besides only myself
Corruption and greed, is it ever enough
Poverty and hunger, there's simply too much
Scavengers and thieves, want to pay their dues
Drug addicts and prostitutes, trying to get their fix or simply trying to make it through
Power trippers and racists, who can't change their ways
These are the things I feel, at the end of each day

2007-03-25T16:38:00.000-07:00

Sun rays hit my face as I look up in to the sun
Right then I feel like, I must be the only one
Thinking of you and all the joy you bring
When I see your beautiful face I just want to sing
I really don't care about all that bling
You might as well take it all off
For to me, it don't mean a thing
Lips red like roses, your smile so perfect
Your body's got so many curves
I think I could lose my nerves
I'm waiting for you to tell me you love me
But you must be waiting for the same thing

2007-03-25T00:34:00.000-07:00

I'm at that point in my life again
Where I don't care where I've been
Don't want to try, I could care less
Things never go my way, my life's a mess
And what do you care you seem contempt
You could never understand my pain
In fact you could care less
So take your good attitude
Take it somewhere else
I need to get through this right now, all by myself
Thanks for trying but you are no help
cause this is the way I feel right now
The only person who can change that is myself.

2007-03-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

Moonlight casts shadows on me.

And yet you are so bright?

Standing there motionless, in the moonlight.

Angels sing to you when you are there.
Flying around you with gentle care.

All the while staring blankly at me, almost as if you want to thank me?
Thank me for all my kindness and patience. Not knowing that without you, I could not fake this.

For all your love and power.
You have no idea, how you could devour?
You could get rid of my lust, my need to thrive.
Without you my heart, would not survive.

2007-03-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

Wasting my day, wasting away.

It seems I'm not coming back, not coming this way.

Wandering these streets, till I'm hurting my feet.

I realize I need to be around, that's when I begin to come down.

For In my life it's too late, I must steer towards my fate.

2007-03-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

I came up with this earlier?
It's a start...
It seems kind of long. #1)?

#1)Breaking me in two, every time you cried.
I feel so hopeless, all the times you lied.

Storms a brewing, deep inside my mind.
Painting a picture, of where I might find the time?

Trying to come up with some sort of equation.

If, just once to get over... My frustration.
There's still no other, no other substitutions.
Not ever will I come up, with a better kind of solution.
So
I wonder are you sailing?
Wherever you might be mailing?

And where else would you rather be?

But farther away from me.

And Further away from my heart.

I've realized you've torn me.
You've torn my heart apart!

Now I've finally found it.
And this won't happen to me again?

So I'm going to latch my heart, and I'm keeping it locked.

Now My heart's been tied. I've knotted it up.

I think I have loss?

But I've certainly loss, quite enough...

#2)Going crazy, need to leave this place.
I'm pathetically waiting. Cannot leave this space.

Always anticipating?
Where I'am, or where I'm at?

Been running around drinking, but what 'am I thinking?
I'm only making it worse!
I assume it's maybe my curse.

So where 'am I going?

Going crazy I think.

My thought's are sinking,

I really couldn't tell you, what 'am I thinking?